Veg.

For this years season of Lent i have decided to give up meat. I gave up meat last year about this time (but not for Lent), but i ended up eating again (eating your feelings sucks.) But anyway, it has been going very well so far. Of course i have been tempted with meat, but God has been helping me so much and having accountability from my friends has also been a blessing. It's hard, but it's something that i want to continue for the rest of my life.

I recently watched the movie Food Inc. (if you haven't seen it already, you must). I was completely shocked by this movie. I had no idea that all of this stuff was going on. Chickens have been genetically altered so that they grow to an enormous size in 30 days. They are unable to take more than just a few steps because their bodies are too big. Pigs, cattle, chickens and other animals are restricted to small cages where they can hardly move their limbs. These animals are kicked and treated so poorly. I don't agree with this at all. They are God's creation. They are being oppressed and abused. The farm workers are the same way. A person running a chicken farm borrows up to 500,000 dollars and only makes 18,000. what the hell is that? How much more oppressed can they get in the meat industry? I don't see how someone can know all that is happening in this industry and not be compelled to act?

*Animals who die for your dinner table die alone, in terror, in sadness and in pain. The killing is merciless and inhumane.

* Every minute of every working day, thousands of animals are killed in slaughter-houses. Pain and misery are common. In the US alone, 500,000 animals are killed for meat every hour.

*There are millions of cases of food poisoning recorded every year. The vast majority are caused by eating meat.

Although there is a huge issue with the way the animals and workers are being treated there ore other reasons as to why i want to discontinue my meat consumptiont. such as...

*African countries - where millions are starving to death - export grain to the developed world so that animals can be fattened for our dining tables.

* If we eat the plants we grow instead of feeding them to animals, the world's food shortage will disappear virtually overnight. Remember that 100 acres of land will produce enough beef for 20 people but enough wheat to feed 240 people.

*Half the rainforests in the world have been destroyed to clear ground to graze cattle to make beefburgers. The burning of the forests contributes 20% of all green-house gases. Roughtly 1,000 species a year become extinct because of the destruction of the rainforests. Approximately 60 million people a year die of starvation. All those lives could be saved because those people could eat grain used to fatten cattle and other farm animals - if Americans ate 10% less meat.

*The world's fresh water shortage is being made worse by animal farming. And meat producers are the biggest polluters of water. It takes 2,500 gallons of water to produce one pound of meat. If the US meat industry wasn't supported by the taxpayer paying a large proportion of its water costs, then hamburger meat would cost $35 a pound.

With the issue with the farm workers, the animals, the environment and world poverty, i cannot eat meat anymore. I can't eat meat when vegetarianism could solve world hunger. I can't eat meat knowing that what i am in eating lived with fear, sadness and pain before it's life was taken. I can't stand idly by when farm workers are being oppressed and treated so unfairly. I can't eat meat anymore. I won't eat it anymore. I have no intention of ever eating meat again. There is always a chance of messing up, but i pray that i won't. Btw, as a disclaimer, i don't hate meat eaters. I have a plethora of friends who eat meat and i don't think any less of them for it. This is something that i want to do and i will not pressure anyone to do it too. Would i like everyone to stp eating meat? yes. But i know that's not realistic.

hope you enjoyed my rant.

Joyfully Suffering

"For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake..."- Phillipians 1:29

The above verse has spoken a lot to me these past couple months. i've always struggled with depression, but these past couple months have seemed worse. I can't necessarily think of one certain thing that has caused it to get worse, but i do have some thoughts.

In a way, i feel like God is causing my depression. Some of you may think this is a crazy idea, but i definitely think it's plausible. Take the above verse for example; Christ wants us to suffer for His sake. He wants us to experience at least some fraction of the pain that he went through. It even talks about in the book of James how we should embrace suffering and how beneficial it can be to our faith. There is so much truth to that.

I've been reading "Come Be My Light," a book about Mother Teresa, for quite some time now; it's a book filled with all of her private writings. in case you didn't know much about her life and the struggles that she faced, she was a very depressed person who suffered a lot. she lived in poverty intentionally and served the poor, the sick and the dying. she faced so many trials and she never gave up on God. She gladly accepted the offer to suffer even more for Him and to feel His pain. It's a beautiful book, as is her life depicted in it. I feel like i can identify so much with Mother Teresa. No, i don't live with the poor and serve them, but i feel like i can relate in other ways. I feel so depressed. I feel like i am so alone, abandoned and unloved.I feel like God has left me and doesn't give a shit about me. This is how i feel like i can relate to her and reading her writings has been so inspiring to me and has really brought me comfort.

I feel like God wants me to return to Him. I think causing my depression is one way of doing it. It's helping me to realize how important He is and how much I need Him. Knowing this, reading that Bible verse and reading the writings of Mother Teresa, i am pleased to suffer for Christ. This depression is a good thing and i can take comfort in it now. I am joyfully suffering for Christ and His will and i thank Him for all He's been doing and showing me.

"If I ever become a saint- I will surely be one of 'darkness.' I will continually be absent from Heaven- to light the light of those in darkness on earth."- Mother Teresa

God The Mother?

In the religion of Christianity, God is referred to as The Father. It's even mentioned in scripture, the most popular verses being Matthew 6:9-13 where The Lord's Prayer begins by saying, "Our Father who art in heaven..." However, i have found much comfort in thinking of God as a mother. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Why not consider God a mother as well? Why is it that i feel this way? Let me explain...

I grew up with a father who was absent. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally he wasn't there. Therefore, i took comfort in knowing that my mother was there for me and offered unconditional love to me. I had always heard God described as The Father, but i never considered Him to be that. How am i supposed to consider God a father when my own earthly father didn't show me the love that a father should?

Well, I read The Shack. Surely many of you have heard of this book, some of you have probably read it as well. In this book God is depicted as an African American woman. Personally, when i read it i pictured someone like Queen Latifah, I've heard this from others as well. Anyway, the God in this book is so loving, caring, compassionate and all of the other qualities that God has, however, God is a woman. A mother. First reading this i was confused. The idea of God being the father were consuming my head that i hadn't even considered God to be a mother. However, through reading that book and reflecting on my own relationship with my earthly mother, i have concluded that yes, God can be considered a Mother. I have found such great comfort in this. Yes, God can be a Father, but He can also be a Mother. I don't just all of a sudden say, "God is a woman." But i must say that i have found a greater sense of love from God when calling on Him as my Mother.

God is my Father. My Mother. My Friend. M Brother. He is everything to me.

Journaling...

is such great therapy.
Pour your heart out into the pages.
It really does help.

Hope in the midst of struggle

Something that i've been struggling a lot with lately is the idea of trusting God. Sometimes I feel like it is impossible for me to do that. I have been hurt by some of the most important people in my life and that has definitely caused me to have trust issues now. I find that i sometimes keep a guard up around some people and it's hard to really get close to them or to even feel vulnerable. Although that's not always the case, it still sucks. So, here's my story.....

This past monday I was having a really tough day. I found myself feeling very sad and depressed about certain things and i ended up having a horrible day. At one point the depression turned into anger and then lonliness and then just became hopelessness. I just needed to pour my heart out to someone. So i did.

I met up with a friend of mine and told him everything that was going on, everything I was feeling. I confessed that i was feeling hopeless. I confessed that i felt so alone and like nobody cared for me. I confessed that i wasn't feeling the presence of God and I was even doubting His love for me. I wasn't trusting God that He was going to help me out of my struggle and that He was going to heal me. I didn't believe it. I was so angry at God because i was going through such a tough time.

My friend offered a lot of encouragement. He shared part of his story that pertained to mine and it was very helpful. He has such a huge amount of Hope and he said that he had hope for me that i was going to be healed because that is what God did for him. He healed him. It's so great to hear these words.

What did I need? I needed love. I needed someone to say, "Hey. I care about you and i'm here to listen." That is exactly what i got. God spoke through my friend. He helped me to feel His love through a relationship with someone else. Ever since that talk I have felt so amazing. I have been making commitments that I plan to keep and I have felt so much better about God. God showed me love. He showed me that i can trust Him. He showed me that it's good to be vulnerable sometimes. It's the truth. I'm feeling amazing right now. Am i still dealing with struggles? Of course. However, I know God is here. And i will always remember that.

Hurt

There's so much of it in the world.
There's so much pain.
So much hate,
So much hurt.
It sucks.
It's sad, but it's reality.
That's the unfortunate part.
How can we fix it?
Show love.
Stop the homelessness.
Stop the hate towards homosexuals.
Abortionists.
Drug users.
Those who engage themselves in premarital sex.
Stop the war in Sudan and Iraq.
Stop all wars.
Stop the violence against women and children.
Stop the hate.
Start to love.

Unconditional Love

God loves. He does not hate. He loves homosexuals. He loves people who get abortions. He loves people who steal. He loves murderers. He loves liars. He loves the child predators. He loves the homeless. He loves the people who hate you. He loves the people that you yourself hate. He loves bad parents. He loves rebellious children. He loves those who have premarital sex. He loves drug users. He loves alcoholics. He loves atheists. He loves Buddhists. He loves EVERYONE. There is not one single human being on this earth that is not loved by God. It's confusing, but true. I don't even understand it. How can God love a father who is an alcoholic and who is abusive emotionally? How can God love someone who is arrogant, self centered and engages is the worst acts of sex? How can God love someone that killed one of my friends? I don't know. But i believe that He does. The Bible says so. I have done some terrible things in my life but God loves me anyway. It amazes me. It took me a LONG time to actually believe that God loves me but it's always been true. Even through my faults and my struggles He loves me. He loves me even though i'm not worthy of it most of the time. I consistently turn my back on him but He still loves me. He loves me. He loves you. He loves every person that you've ever laid eyes on. It's amazing. He's amazing. Believe me when i say that YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD. That will NEVER change. Believe it. His love is not conditioned. God is love.