Hope in the midst of struggle

Something that i've been struggling a lot with lately is the idea of trusting God. Sometimes I feel like it is impossible for me to do that. I have been hurt by some of the most important people in my life and that has definitely caused me to have trust issues now. I find that i sometimes keep a guard up around some people and it's hard to really get close to them or to even feel vulnerable. Although that's not always the case, it still sucks. So, here's my story.....

This past monday I was having a really tough day. I found myself feeling very sad and depressed about certain things and i ended up having a horrible day. At one point the depression turned into anger and then lonliness and then just became hopelessness. I just needed to pour my heart out to someone. So i did.

I met up with a friend of mine and told him everything that was going on, everything I was feeling. I confessed that i was feeling hopeless. I confessed that i felt so alone and like nobody cared for me. I confessed that i wasn't feeling the presence of God and I was even doubting His love for me. I wasn't trusting God that He was going to help me out of my struggle and that He was going to heal me. I didn't believe it. I was so angry at God because i was going through such a tough time.

My friend offered a lot of encouragement. He shared part of his story that pertained to mine and it was very helpful. He has such a huge amount of Hope and he said that he had hope for me that i was going to be healed because that is what God did for him. He healed him. It's so great to hear these words.

What did I need? I needed love. I needed someone to say, "Hey. I care about you and i'm here to listen." That is exactly what i got. God spoke through my friend. He helped me to feel His love through a relationship with someone else. Ever since that talk I have felt so amazing. I have been making commitments that I plan to keep and I have felt so much better about God. God showed me love. He showed me that i can trust Him. He showed me that it's good to be vulnerable sometimes. It's the truth. I'm feeling amazing right now. Am i still dealing with struggles? Of course. However, I know God is here. And i will always remember that.