Hope

I have been struggling a lot lately with this. I have been dealing with some stuff that is really getting to me and i have come to find that I have no hope. I don't see anything ending for me but what i do see is me being stuck in a rut the rest of my life. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm scared. I qnt to find peace in my life. I want to have hope. My prayers this past week have mostly been about God giving me hope. Have I been seeing any results? sometimes, yes. occasionally i feel really happy and as if everything is going to be okay. But usually that isn't the case. I need to grow. I want to grow. But i feel like i'm doing something wrong. I feel like i'm holding back from God. I feel like i'm not being honest with Him. Maybe i'm not even being honest with myself.
I'm not walking away from Him. However, I find mysekf questioning more than I ever have before. I know He loves me. I love Him. I know He cares. But sometimes I don't feel His presence'
I don't really know what I was trying to say in this blog except, anyone ho happens to read this, please pray for me. To find peace and to have hope.