Justifiable

Are we the worshipers of a just God? Is the God that we follow always being fair? Does God really love us as much as He says He does? well, i have been struggling with these questions a lot lately. I know that God loves me. It says so in the Bible. I have experienced His love countless times. It is very apparent that God loves me by the opportunities He has given me, the personal attributes that i am gifted with, the people He has put into my life, etc. However, in those dark times where all i can really think about are my struggles, i find it hard to really believe that i am the follower of a just, fair and loving God.
When we struggle, all we can really think about is ourselves and thinking of different "plans" on how to get out of these problems. I know i do this. Another thing that i do is cry out to God. During my prayers sometimes i tend to always ask and ask that God will heal me from my struggles and that I will be "fixed." I think, "If God is so Almighty and can do anything, then why hasn't he takedn this struggle away from me? why is it that i am going through this in the first place? this isn't fair! nobody should have to struggle like this!" I get angry. and i get sad. and i somehow always get these doubtful feelings about God. I'm afraid that i am going to walk away from Him. However, that is something i do NOT want to do. God has blessed me quite a lot and i am so thankful.
So what is the point of this blog? I don't know really. I guess i just wanted to vent and maybe share a minor part of my experience with struggling. One thing i have learned and am reminded of everyday, is that my struggles are not God's fault. The world is broken. We are all broken. God didn't make me struggle, something else did. God wants to help me through my struggles, and although i am extremely hopeless at times, sometimes i do have hope and fully believe that God will help me. Another thing that i have learned is that God's timing is right. Although that statement may seem false and it can be a bit irritating, it's true. and that is something that i think we all need to understand.
God is teaching me. He's teaching me quite a lot actually and i know that that's never going to stop. Much can be learned through struggling. I am being taught such things as self-control, discipline, etc. God is good. God is great. Just don't give up. Don't give up on God. He will help you. He will give you people to confess to and they will help you through these struggles. I speak from experience. Pray. It really helps. Are we living with a just God? I think He knows what He's doing. Is God fair? Once again, He knows what He's doing. I can give a simple yes or a no as i am struggling with these questions as well. Pray. Ask God. Let Him show you.
Sorry for all of the rambling. I don't know what happened. ha. i just wanted to talk.